I have convinced myself that if I count down the lampposts along the boardwalk the time goes by faster.  So there I was, running the boardwalk and beginning my “lamppost countdown.”

With 5 lampposts left Passion Pit’s Carried Away blared in my headphones.  I picked up the pace.

4 a smile spread across my face.

3 the sun was blinding and beautiful.

2 I’m almost there.

1 I’m crying.

There I was- by myself, crying on the boardwalk listening to Passion Pit.  For any observer this would have been quite the odd thing to see.  A twenty-five year old female, alone and sobbing for no apparent reason.  Fortunately it was 6:30 in the morning and the only people out were me, the seagulls, and some man that I swear was secretly racing me.

This was my catharsis.

When I woke up that morning I knew I had turned a new leaf that would be a journey, and possibly a struggle.  I put my sneakers on with determination, did a stretch, and was on my way.  When did I let myself stop caring? When did I convince myself that I didn’t deserve to be an active 25 year old?  I didn’t even know when the slump started, but it did.

My story starts in 2003 when I was sixteen and diagnosed with lupus.  My new story started yesterday morning.


5 thoughts on “Catharsis.

  1. Pingback: Friends with Benefits | 52 Miles per Month

  2. Pingback: Why? | 52 Miles per Month

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