Winter Blues

Dear New York,

Welcome to the first day of winter! At 55 glorious degrees! Now, unfortunately, I came down with some low grade fever last night. Joy. Probably because I don’t know how to relax, amiright lupus friends? So, how do you take it easy when it’s 55, sunny, and beautiful out while you’re sick?! I’ll tell you how I do- I don’t.

Last night I forced myself to stay in rather than celebrate a friends birthday. I was in bed with tea by 8 p.m., I slept a full 12 hours. When I woke up this morning I found myself pacing the apartment because WHY AM I NOT BETTER YET? Well, you know the old saying, impatience is a virtue.

After forfeiting my 12 p.m. yoga class, skipping the gym, and missing a celebration, I couldn’t stay inside any longer. I know, god forbid I sit still for a full day. I needed to get outside because – all inside with no sun makes Talia a dull girl.

Just walk. No running, I’ll be good.

I should mention that this was my first time on the boardwalk since October and I was feeling highly ambitious due to the fresh air and sunshine. The boardwalk has some real powers, people, and it was making me forget I ever felt sick at all. And it reminded me that life is beautiful and there is nothing like the great outdoors. Seagulls and all. Plus, they decorated the boardwalk! Adorable.

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So, I walked. Just like I promised myself. Then I couldn’t take it anymore. Just one mile never killed anyone. Just a smidgen. So, after 3 miles of walking I caved. I did a one mile run, naturally starting right where the boardwalk was finally completed this October.

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Was my impulsiveness worth it? Probably not considering I’m now curled in a ball on my couch sniffling. Then again, I am watching the likes of Shahs of Sunset and a new favorite, Ja’mie, Private School Girl with no worries in the world. Remind me again of that vow I made to myself… What was it? Oh, yes, take it easy. Know my limits.

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So. Worth. It.

There is Such a Thing as Too Much

Could it have been my couch session of Love Actually, twice, that made my regular 8:15 yoga class seem like more of an obligation tonight than the usual necessity? Tonight I was lazy. I had zero desire to do anything at all unless it was watching Love Actually for a third time in a row. And cry by myself. For a third time in a row.

Maybe it was my recent workout schedule that was taking it’s toll on my motivation:

12/9 hot yoga
12/11 hot yoga
12/12 run three miles
12/13 run three miles
12/14 hot yoga
12/15 run three miles
12/16 hot yoga
12/17 run three miles
12/18 hot yoga

Well, in 10 days, I’ve worked out 9 times. I would say it’s time to relax. And honestly, I didn’t even realize that this is what I did until I wrote it down.

Regardless, as I set out to my regular 8:15 class it felt as though the world was working against me. After a near accident and missing my turn, I was cursing at strangers before I walked into my cool down zone. There I was, stuck parking farther than I wanted to walk, in quite the spirit, and I was forced to pass Five Guys, a pizza place, a burrito joint, and a bar. My eggs for dinner was feeling pathetic. My stomach my growling. Cutting out of class was seeming like a fantastic idea.

But I didn’t. Mostly because I’m a huge nerd and I’m so uncool that I didn’t even cut out on senior cut day in high school, but also because I made a commitment to myself. Old me was a self commitment phobe and would have turned around and made any excuse to go home and watch Love Actually. New me says no excuses. Woman up. And I can tell you two things. The first, I’m glad I went to class tonight. Not only do I respect my instructor completely, but our discussion felt so relevant to life at this moment. Love was the theme. Universal love. Giving it, receiving it. One of my favorite thoughts- when we are young we require love, when does that stop? I would argue it never does. So, spread the love. Especially this time of the year.

As I left class and I walked by the bar, the burrito joint, the pizza place, and the glorious Five Guys, I also was able to reflect on the second thing I was planning on telling you about- I need to be more aware of my needs to sit down and take it easy. I forget to do this because I get so wrapped up in whatever I’m doing. This weekend as soon as I decided to do the half marathon I knew I was putting my mind to something and I wanted to immediately throw myself into running. Maybe not the best idea. Regardless, I continued to push myself. Today, I am certain of one thing- tomorrow I fully intend on absolutely, without a doubt, not working out.

Decisions, Decisions

What do you do when you made a blog about running 52 miles per month and then attain that goal? 

I’ll tell you the advice I would give to anyone: Feel satisfied, and continue to feel content with the fact that you set out a mission and now, can not only accomplish it, but regularly hit that mark.

This is the advice I should really be giving myself. Or some kind of mirror mantra talk a la little girl in the mirror:

Instead of embracing achievement and enjoying success, I usually see that there’s always more that can be done. I’m not sure if this is a strength or a weakness. 

Well this week, I got a message from a friend asking me to do a half marathon in May. This is the second time I’ve been asked to do a half marathon by a running friend. They see I can suddenly run two miles and think I can be sucked into more running. The first time I was asked I laughed and then said nothing at all. She has not asked me about it again since. That was months ago. Well, now I have a little more experience under my belt and I’m feeling good with my regular three mile thing, I have even floated the idea around of doing a 10K. So, why then, when I was asked to partake in the half, did my three-mile safety-net of a cocoon get shaken up and unraveled?! I thought about it for a few hours and messaged her back:

Let me think about it.

That was my exact response.

This weekend I spent a lot of time doing as I said I would – thinking about my running future. Thinking things such as: at this point the most I’ve run is 4 miles… brain doubles the number- so double the most I’ve done and it’s still less than a half marathon. And I realized something when I began to do math, because I hate math, I’m self sabotaging before I even attempt to try. I want to do the half marathon but my fears are real. Fears like, am I pushing myself too much too soon? What if I have a flare because I’m putting too much stress on my body, can I physically handle this? Can I mentally handle it? I think I can. In my three months of running I have done more than I knew was possible. So what’s holding me back other than my own insecurities? I would also like to thank quite a few blogs that I perused through for inspiration- many of you set your sights on anything from a 5K to a marathon to ultra running (which I will never ever do) – You guys are phenomenal humans.

So what conclusion have I arrived to on this half marathon debate?

I’m in. I’m going to begin training for a half marathon.

Starting… Now!

Retail Therapy

Running and yoga are therapy. You know what else is? Shopping. Particularly when you are happy with yourself. Prior to my workout quest I hit a point where I was unhappy with myself and shopping was no longer fun- it was a chore and something I was required to do to keep myself from public nudity. Since beginning this journey to a better me I have regained confidence and it’s not about a number on the scale or the size of my pants… I feel accomplished. More so than I was seven months ago.

So, on that note, I brought you here today to see my purchases!

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Yes! All workout gear! What have I become?! I love it!

Cheers to a snowed in night with music, friends, Chinese take out, a board game or two, and hopefully many laughs. And our tiny tree.

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The snow is falling and I’m waking up to hot oatmeal with brown sugar and dried fruit with a cinnamon bun flavored coffee in my favorite mug.

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Why yes, that is a Pantone mug, color 569, shrub green.

It’s the simple things in life that can make a Saturday morning so enjoyable. Today I’m taking the day off from running and I’m headed to yoga at 12 to decompress. I have some thinking to do on my intentions with running- more on that later.

For now I’m going to enjoy the warmth and comfort of my tiny apartment. Happy weekend, friends!

Happy Hour

Friday: The Best and Worst Day of the Week.

I have a love/hate relationship with the gym on Friday. Why? I love it because for once, I can actually find parking. Also, NO ONE IS THERE. Because the truth is- who wants to go to the gym on a Friday? 

Interestingly, that’s also the reason I dislike the gym on a Friday- who wants to go to the gym on a Friday?  

Tonight I forced myself to go gracefully left my house, did three solid miles in under thirty minutes, and went home. Now I can have my happy hour.

Also, while at the gym I realized that in my rush to get out the door, I put on pants with a hole on the butt. So yes, tonight I ran at the gym with a big hole on my buttocks. How big was this hole? This big-Image

And yes, that is my nail. And yes, I am throwing these out.

Psychological Warfare Yoga

Lately Since I was a tiny pudgy shy quiet indecisive little girl I have had the inability to successfully focus on one task at a time. Rather, my brain is like… well… this:

Now, despite my brain’s whereabouts in nearly twenty different directions, I will always get tasks accomplished. Yet, this is quite the annoyance as you may imagine. For example, I’m going to assume this is normal, but when I’m in yoga, you know, the class I’m supposed hone in on those focusing skills, these are some of the things I’m actually thinking about:

  • what should I eat tonight? 
  • what did I eat today?
  • what did they mean when they said that? 
  • Oh, I know this song! I like this song… ask about what it’s called later.
  • Shiiii…oot. Did she say left or right? O.K. it was left. Are people looking at me?
  • Nope. No one is looking at me. 
  • I should blog about this 
  • Of course… why did I paint my nails, but not my toenails? This is going to be complicated to fix.
  • It’s so warm in here. I’m never leaving. It’s so cold outside.

Have you ever looked at someone and thought to yourself- there is nothing going on in their head… except this:

I am jealous of these people. Maybe I shouldn’t admit that. But what if I could just turn off my mind, and let it clap like a monkey playing a symbol. So, there I was, in yoga, planning my blog, when it hit me. Turn it off.  This week I made a mental goal with myself- try to be in the present. Meaning, don’t allow yourself to mentally wander off to all of your other obligations (like red meat or chicken). Stay focused on tasks at hand. Be in the moment rather than the obsessing over the past or worrying about the future. Ok, bring it on Monday!

Well, let’s talk about Monday.

On Monday night, my yoga partner and I went to our usual nightly class. All was right in the world, and my symbol playing monkey was a go. Only this wasn’t going to be a typical Monday night yoga session.

Do you remember when you were a student and a substitute teacher was called in for the day?! Yoga on Monday was like that, only worse, because it was a room packed full of adults and there was a substitute teacher. By the time a cell phone went off for a third time, and it was answered in class, I felt like this:

On the car ride home, Jess was not too pleased. We were there to mentally cleanse, but instead, walked out full of angst. I thought the man preparing for lamaze was hilarious, she did not. Inspired by her fury, my dear friend wrote. And she sent it to me. Below are my top ten favorite stressful yoga moments from her list.

Yoga is Stressful…

  1. When you forget to breathe
  2. When you make excuses
  3. When you feel bad for yourself
  4. When you pay more attention to what others are doing
  5. When you tell youself that you can’t
  6. When you want to slap the mouth breather near you
  7. When you don’t feel challenged
  8. When you feel overly challenged
  9. When you ignore your goals
  10. When you don’t set intentions

And how can I forget my two personal favorites:

  1. When you have to pee
  2. When it’s so hot your believe your skin is melting

She wrote:

I have more good memories and lessons that I have learned from yoga than I do bad. But this list should be reflected upon to remind myself that sometimes I am ridiculous. I am human. 

After she sent me the list we laughed and were able to reflect on the trivial nature of one unfortunate class. And that’s all it was. She and I headed back to schedule on Wednesday and it was beautiful, amazing, peaceful, and I was floating on cloud nine, like a person that only has one thing going on in their head. A monkey playing a symbol. Mission accomplished.

I would also like to add that when I typed into google: distractions in yoga this came up:

Can I think this is hilarious?