They say only the good die young– a saying I will never utter. Like stating, they are in a better place, I don’t find solace in it. Sure, sometimes the “good” die young, as do the “bad,” but the truth is- no one should die young.
On Friday night my youngest brother lost his best friend, a young man that cannot be defined by a single word like “good”. He was a son, a brother, a boyfriend, a best friend, a student, a caring individual that brought happiness and light to those around him. He was the kid I teased, alongside my other brother, mercilessly, like we would tease the youngest. This was because David was one of the family.
We spent a lot of time reflecting on David and as we remembered David’s life we sought to laugh at countless stories and moments of times he made the world a better place. On his first playdate with my brother at the age of five, he was playing in the yard and finding caterpillars with my brother and putting them into the air conditioning unit outside. My mother’s immediate response was, this is the bounciest, most energetic kid, and he is never coming over again. All lies, over the next thirteen years he practically lived in our home. And in that time my brother made his best friend.
I’m not going to expand on this further at this time, but I learned a lot from this tragedy and I know my life will never be the same.
- Appreciate the beauty in everything.
- Even if it doesn’t seem like things will get better, they will. Trust me.
- Cherish those in your life and never take them for granted. The most simple moments you shared, like summer days sitting on a dock by the lake will become the most important memories that you have.
- Know that you are loved and know how valuable your life is to those around you.
- This story has hit the news and people will always have their predictions and comments. On that note, find empathy even when you can’t truly understand why. Why is a senseless question because we will never know.
Yesterday we attended the service for David and as I listened to the rabbis words I found the comfort that I will never find from a Billy Joel song- we can’t bring David back, but we can carry out his legacy and we can hold his name, his soul, his life in our hearts and minds forever. David will have a legacy in my life and he will always be an important person in my thoughts, he will influence my life from this point forward. David, everyone loved you so incredibly much. And as I watched my eighteen year old brother act as a pallbearer in his best friends funeral, I asked the same senseless question: why. And I don’t expect an answer, but I hope that in the future I will never have to ask it again.
I’m so sorry for the loss you and your family have suffered and for a life that has been taken far too early. My thoughts are with you…
Suzie, thank you for your kind words.
Sadly it is ar too often that death allows us to understand love far more so than life. More thoughts and prayers are with you and all those whose life David touched.
You’re so correct and that’s disheartening to think about. I truly have a new appreciation on those I’m close to. You do have to appreciate even the tiny things of everyday life.
Thank you for your words.
I’m very sorry for your loss, beautiful post. x
Hannah, thank you so much. When I tried to write this post I couldn’t find words that could bring his life the beauty that it deserves. David was a kind and wonderful young person.
This is so sad, I’m sorry for your and your brother’s loss.
Thank you very much
Thank you, Jackie.
I’m so sorry to hear about your family’s loss. Very well written post.
Courtney, thank you very much. As I said to Hannah, I couldn’t find words that could ever convey the emotions felt by those at the moment and I will never be able to find the words to express David’s life.
So, so sorry for your loss. I’m sure this was hard to write, but thank you for sharing your thoughts
Jamie, thank you. I felt like I needed to write. Death, unfortunately, affects all of us. I blog to connect, I blog to express. This is an outlet that can also offer dialogue with others that have experienced loss themselves. David’s death was tragic, I can only hope that others will take something out of the tragedy.
Writing is a great outlet, and I can completely relate to a lot of things you said. My brother passed away just over a year ago so this post hits home. I especially love the lessons you have taken from this loss, grief is hard to work through but moving forward with this mindset is the absolute best thing you can do.
Jamie, I’m sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine losing a sibling. This was difficult enough. Thank you for reading- we blog to find things we relate to because really, we all relate to one another in some way. Grief is human.
sometimes we just NEED to write and sometimes we NEED to run. Those two things have truly been a wonderful outlet for me this week.
Thank you and I completely agree. After my brother passed, I kept a journal at home. It helped to filter all of the anxiety and sadness I was feeling into writing. I also read a lot of blogs online, finding other people to relate to is so therapeutic. And running of course does wonders 🙂 I’m glad you have these outlets-it’s so healthy and will help you greatly along the way
I have no words. . . such a shame. I’ll give a little more love to my family tonight in memory. Never take it for granted.
Exactly. Hugs go a long way. Telling people you love them.
Oh gosh, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts go out to you, your brother, David’s family and everyone whose life he has touched. You wrote a wonderful post in his memory and honour and I find your thoughtful words both humbling and touching – thank you so much for sharing this. You are so right, we should never take anything for granted. It’s so sad that grief is the price we must pay for love.
Thank you for your thoughtful response.
I am very sorry for your loss, and your brother’s loss. You have been in my thoughts.
Thank you so much. It’s definitely not easy to deal with senseless loss.