Why am I Always Hungry and How Did I Get A Grease Stain On My Shirt

Mindy Kaling is basically my best friend in my head. And I know that we would have a buttload boatload (more appropriate?) of giggles together. The most evidence that I have to support my unnatural love for a person I have never met is that I have read her book twice, and that is double the amount of times that I have read most books so she’s sort of a big deal.

In her life changing memoir: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (which I completely relate to by the title alone) Mindy basically says every single thing I wish I had the ability to articulate and then sell to people, for example:

“You should know I disagree with a lot of traditional advice. For instance, they say the best revenge is living well. I say it’s acid in the face—who will love them now?” 

 

“I’m the kind of person who would rather get my hopes up really high and watch them get dashed to pieces than wisely keep my expectations at bay and hope they are exceeded. This quality has made me a needy and theatrical friend, but has given me a spectacularly dramatic emotional life.” 

 

“I don’t think it should be socially acceptable for people to say they are “bad with names.” No one is bad with names. That is not a real thing. Not knowing people’s names isn’t a neurological condition; it’s a choice. You choose not to make learning people’s names a priority. It’s like saying, “Hey, a disclaimer about me: I’m rude.” 

 

“The chorus of “Jack and Diane” is: Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone. Are you kidding me? The thrill of living was high school? Come on, Mr. Cougar Mellencamp. Get a life.”

 

“You might also see that some of my playlists are simply two songs on repeat fifteen times, like I’m a psycho getting pumped up to murder the president.”

 

“I’m the one who looks at the infant, smiles nervously, and as my contribution to small talk, robotically announces to the parent, “Your child looks healthy and well cared for.”

― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

Typing these in just made me relive the out loud laughs followed by unabashed stares from complete strangers the last time I perused my copy. Oh, Mindy, you just get me. 

In one chapter, Mindy examines possible book title choices. As an active blogger- and by active I mean my mom reads every day, I know the struggle to finding the perfect name for your child. It was almost as challenging as the time I had to name the day-gecko that I took home for extra credit over winter break from science class and then tragically and 100% accidentally killed. RIP Geico Gecko… really creative, I know.

Mindy’s chapter got me thinking. 

What would my imaginary book title about my life be titled? Inspired by my woman crush, I have created a few à la Mindy:

  • Why am I Always Hungry and How Did I Get A Grease Stain On My Shirt
  • Why am I Always Hungry and How Did I Get A Grease Stain On My Shirt Again (this is my second book)
  • Baby Powder and Body Spray
  • The Gym is My Frenemy: I Hate You, but I Love You. Bitch.
  • The life of a Human Seagull (to fully understand this one you need to know that I will eat anything. Seriously…) 
  • No, It’s Not Sexually Transmitted and Other Facts About Lupus 

This all leads me to summarize with this question:

If you had to create one title for a book all about you, what would your book title be?

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