I can’t even deal. I might literally die. For serious.

I might as well make a lame title because I feel like this

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because of this…

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Once upon a time I was told by many people: you don’t have to do this. Their intentions were all out of love as they saw me whine, moan, look like a hot mess. They were absolutely correct. I didn’t have to do a thirty day challenge. And I don’t want to mislead the masses and have you believe that everyday i walked into class with the Rocky music playing, head held high, a slow clap that moves into a fast clap playing in my mind. Let me reiterate: I was a whiney, moan-y, hot mess. One time my friend actually asked why I do it if I complain so much. I just like yoga and complaining… leave me alone.

Despite my complaints, I had every intention on prying myself off of my couch with my air-conditioned living room each and every day. Part of this is my love of a challenge. Every once in a while we need to sit back and remind ourselves that we can accomplish more than we give ourselves credit for. I needed a reminder because I have been feeling like a waste of necessary oxygen for the planet as of late. [cue my mom calling me to ask me what’s going on. I’m fine.] 

And now I’m here. On my thirtieth day. Twenty-nine classes done.

Today I hope to make it through every posture giving it my [honest] all. I hope that if I struggle, I am kinder to myself than I usually am. I hope that I lay in savasana and allow a smile to spread across my face. I hope I don’t cry- I nearly cried at the movie Trainwreck last night on 3 separate occasions. I have no good reason for that one. What I do know is that achieving things makes me feel feelings, and I’m not about that life. I’m having a difficult time finding the words to express how nerve-cited I am. With that, I will save it so that I have the ability to process these past thirty days.

I would really appreciate good energy right about now- so whatever you would like to direct at me, go for it.

In three hours I will be walking into my last [self] mandated day of Bikram yoga. And in 5 hours I will be toasting to challenges, accomplishments, and sweating my ass off. Literally and figuratively.

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4 thoughts on “I can’t even deal. I might literally die. For serious.

    • Thank you! I can’t say I’ve always reached my goals. It’s like this panic sets in and I want to self sabotage at times- right before the goal is reached! You definitely can do it though! If I can… most people can!

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