Dirty Girl

I’m at a summer block party when all of the sudden I notice my arms look dirty- as in, do you wash yourself properly dirty. The answer is, yes, yes I do. It must be fairly obvious that I’m checking myself out because a girl that I just met confirmed that yes, they do look dirty, but she would like to add that she doesn’t think I’m a dirty person or anything. Why, thank you? It’s always good to know that you can have marks on your body that look like filth but your outward appearance is still clean enough that strangers will give you the benefit of the doubt that you do take showers.

I thought these marks were weird and I guess I have noticed these dark patches that creep onto my arms and face every year, yet somehow I have pushed them into a place where I acknowledge them, but don’t think too much of it. Oh yeah, I get it on my face too. A big ol’ mark that only comes out in photographs that spans across my forehead, and a nice little mustache line which I don’t like telling people about because then they will stare at it the next time they see me. Just tell me you are doing it first so I don’t feel self-conscious, please. What’s odd is that I have noticed these things, but seriously displace their existence. In fact, I thought I was just really bad at bronzer for a while and would try to even out my forehead. This post is getting more moronic the longer I write…

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Don’t let the dark mark on my forehead confuse you for Harry Potter.

In the shower I have tried scrubbing my arms- I bought a painful loofah because of this situation. This is not a joke! I would scrub and scrub to no avail thinking that maybe I needed to stop buying CVS brand sunblock and take it up a notch to Banana Boat. Fast forward to this morning. I am perusing the internet and stumble across a blog entry from butudontlooksick. It’s my lupus! I know House says it’s always lupus, but Talia says: Nah, it’s probably just dirt. 

So it’s not that I trust everything that I read on the internet, a la this chick:dcc6c074569bd39866f43364a26ff021571f79c8b2fc1846135f598b850fab2d5cd9bdd28650fc93bc22bee882c69621

But I do love myself some WebMD. If it wasn’t for multiple rheumatologists confirming that I have lupus, I most definitely would have self diagnosed myself with something incurable and insane…like lupus. Either way, today I allowed the internet to confirm my derm (as in epidermis). The “dirt” is actually skin pigmentation from the sun. Not muck, filth, grime, or grub. Then again, maybe I should go to the doctor and have them corroborate my self-diagnosis from a blog post with a visit. Or, maybe I am just dirty.

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