Lupus Conversations

I’m heading back to work after a flare and I have to say- to the eye, I look completely like myself. Plus, I’m thrilled to talk to humans and not just my dog and John. As a result I have that first day of school excitement pumping through my veins. Freedom!

This sounds ridiculous so bare with me on this one. Having a disease where you don’t necessarily look sick can be challenging. People are a lot less likely to take your pain seriously. Sometimes I feel, emphasis on the feel, as though people might wonder how much of this invisible illness is real.

This insecurity creeps into my daily life and occasionally finds it’s way into conversations with John as I search for his approval that no, I’m not crazy, and yes, he knows how sick I’ve been despite my best efforts to conceal my discomfort.

On our drive into work today he had me hysterical as I stared at myself concerned that people might just take me as a phony looking for a long weekend.

Me: sometimes it’s hard to go back to work when you look this good (meaning not sick)

John: are you Zoolander?

I get it. I’ll be quiet now! Thanks for the laugh.

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