That must have been why I didn’t see you there. Not that too many people were there. Or anyone for that matter. It was actually just a party for one- THE Pity Party of 2016.
I would say that it was better than the Pity Party of 2015 and definitely better than the 2014 Party of Pity. Not quite as good as the one back in 2004, but I’m not sure any of them can beat that banger.
I would even say that I’m not sure if this year’s fiesta has come to an end. It’s kind of like when you are a kid and your birthday manifests itself into your birthmonth. Granted, birthdays are much more rousing than lupus and also contain a considerable amount less self-loathing.
Pity-parties are boring. Stale. Monotonous. Lonely. And I’ve been trying to end the soiree. But I want you to know that having a disease can feel a bit like quicksand in that the more you struggle, the more quickly you become in engulfed in the weight surrounding you. And if you ever are trapped in quicksand, check whether or not you are being weighed down by heavy items. If you are, release them.
Disease can make you miss yourself and ask questions like, where did she go? They can make you forget that you have accomplishments. That you are a fighter. That you have a sense of humor. They can make you forget that you are deeply loved.
Have you ever woken up after an ongoing sinus infection with a clear nose? You probably sat back and thought to yourself – nose, I will never take you for granted again. I love breathing and I will never forget this beautiful moment of nose clarity.
Years ago I started this blog as a reminder to myself to value both the grandeur and simplicity of life. The moment I realized how fortunate I was for my health and that I had the ability to challenge myself mentally, physically, and emotionally.
I hope you are never so unfortunate that you find yourself stuck in quicksand, but if you are take this advice: if you simply relax, the sinking will cease.