Mom-isms never stop. You may even find that you will forever be your parents child as they send your reminder text messages. See exhibit A:
When I was sixteen my mother was my biggest health advocate. Each doctors appointment scheduled, fax that needed to be sent, blood work that I had to be taken to, and piece of knowledge about nearly every auto-immune under the sun became her mission. She was unstoppable.
As a teenager, I found myself a passive recipient of a present I did not want. As a result, I allowed my mom to absorb the brunt of the information. Over time I learned that passivity and health do not go hand in hand. As I began to advocate for myself both legally as an adult and because it became important to me that I become more aware of my health, my mom gave me the reins.
Her mom-isms did not vanish overnight as I would still receive the occasional: when do you see your lupus doctor? But for every mommmmmm that my young adult self groaned, there was the reminder that she saved my life.
This afternoon as I read her texts, I caught myself laughing. It took me too long to register that she was genuinely concerned. Mom’s right, she cannot make the appointments for me, but I can make them for myself.
I wonder how many of us did not receive a proper diagnosis or help because they lacked support where they needed it most- home. At 28 I’m still being scolded about my health, but I’m appreciative that someone can love me so much that they are willing to drive me crazy.
Don’t worry, I’ll get you back.
As a self identified feminist, I take so much pride in having a hardworking, do anything for their family, kind of mom.
She’s the kind of person you want to be. What a selfless woman. Too selfless if you ask me. So I’ve created this proposal for you, mom:
This year I want you to live more for yourself. I know I said I’ll start paying my cell phone bill… I’m sending the check. (Stop judging me. Yes I’m 26 and I’ve gotten away with not paying the bill for quite some time) Take all of my cell phone money and promise me you will go on a banging vacation. You might need more than my cell phone money though so don’t feel guilty about spending a little. You know what I’m talking about- like how I used to force you to take your hard earned money and buy yourself a new shirt because if I didn’t make you, you would only buy things for us. When you travel, do me a favor and don’t feel bad that you won’t be able to take the dogs out for a walk. And stop overthinking what Mark and Sean will eat… They are 18 and 22. You taught us well, mom, and even though it’s hard to believe at times, you have created some self sufficient, independent kids.
Sometimes I catch myself becoming just like my mom and it’s not that bad. Like when I’m sitting in a triple leg crossover, or this new hyena like laugh I’ve developed. Or when I scream irrationally. Or with the amount that I love, because we both love a lot. Becoming my mother isn’t that bad at all. It may be what I’ve been aspiring to all along. Plus she ain’t too hard on the eyes.
Happy Mother’s Day mom, and happy Mother’s Day to every other awesome mom out there!